Why the Fantastic Four will suck
I hate to sound like Gene Shalit here, and I certainly have no basis to make such an assertion, but I truly believe the Fantastic Four movie will suck. I'm basing this strictly on the preview and another odd phenomena. Everytime a really good, opinion-changing genre film is released, it's quickly followed up by something that makes superhero movies look ridiculous. Cyclically, we're coming out of Batman Begins, a great film, so it's time for one that sucks.
Why it will suck:
1) Changing the origin. Yes, it's a minor point and I'm trying not to be a purist here, but the fact that the comic version of the FF literally had Reed and company breaking the law by launching the rocket into space just highlighted the desperation of the scientific mind that is dead-set to prove a theory. It hasn't been played much in the comics because the focus has always been on Reed's guilt for what happened to Ben, but it's still a story chunk that is missing.
2) Doom. Ok, maybe the Latverian angle won't work. I mean really, who says "Bah!" anymore? I'll even give you the whole "rich, philanthropist" angle. But the first time you see Doom in the trailer he is wisecracking. "I'll get a second opinion." A quick note here, this FF is NOT the one from the original comic, but rather from the Ultimate Fantastic Four title Marvel is currently running. Look at the origin, look at Doom and you'll see.
3) The Thing. In a movie world where you can now, literally, do anything, Michael Chiklis looks ridiculous in the suit. Pre-screeners have said that the suit looks spongy and "gives" when someone touches it. I also saw a still where Ben is easily 6 inches shorter than Reed. Ugh. Did Tim Story see The Lord of the Rings? Couldn't they have at least used some CGI to make Ben a foot or two taller and wider? Even the forced perspective shots inside Bilbo's home would have worked. I'm sorry to say, but the Thing from the Roger Coreman filme looked BETTER. In fact, so did his Doom.
4) Street Fighting. Why are they fighting in the middle of the street in NY? This just doesn't seem like Doom. This worked in Superman II. It also worked in Spider-man 1 and 2. It just doesn't seem "big" enough for FF.
5) Rumors. FF will have to work very hard to make us forget Elastic Girl (?) from The Incredibles. There were rumors that several SFX shots of Reed were re-done at the last minute after that film came out because they realized they look lame.
6) Bad clips. I saw Michael Chiklis on Letterman the other night. He brought the worst clip imagineable. It was nothing more than Doom and the Thing punching each other. That was it.
So, I could go on about the bad, but here's some gems to look for.
1) The Human Torch. This looks really good and the young actor playing him (who's name escapes me even though he's on my TV Guide - a connection I still can't make) seems to be having a ball.
2) Jessica Alba. She looks great although not how I picture Sue.
3) Large buttered popcorn.
And that's all folks. We'll find out this week.
Why it will suck:
1) Changing the origin. Yes, it's a minor point and I'm trying not to be a purist here, but the fact that the comic version of the FF literally had Reed and company breaking the law by launching the rocket into space just highlighted the desperation of the scientific mind that is dead-set to prove a theory. It hasn't been played much in the comics because the focus has always been on Reed's guilt for what happened to Ben, but it's still a story chunk that is missing.
2) Doom. Ok, maybe the Latverian angle won't work. I mean really, who says "Bah!" anymore? I'll even give you the whole "rich, philanthropist" angle. But the first time you see Doom in the trailer he is wisecracking. "I'll get a second opinion." A quick note here, this FF is NOT the one from the original comic, but rather from the Ultimate Fantastic Four title Marvel is currently running. Look at the origin, look at Doom and you'll see.
3) The Thing. In a movie world where you can now, literally, do anything, Michael Chiklis looks ridiculous in the suit. Pre-screeners have said that the suit looks spongy and "gives" when someone touches it. I also saw a still where Ben is easily 6 inches shorter than Reed. Ugh. Did Tim Story see The Lord of the Rings? Couldn't they have at least used some CGI to make Ben a foot or two taller and wider? Even the forced perspective shots inside Bilbo's home would have worked. I'm sorry to say, but the Thing from the Roger Coreman filme looked BETTER. In fact, so did his Doom.
4) Street Fighting. Why are they fighting in the middle of the street in NY? This just doesn't seem like Doom. This worked in Superman II. It also worked in Spider-man 1 and 2. It just doesn't seem "big" enough for FF.
5) Rumors. FF will have to work very hard to make us forget Elastic Girl (?) from The Incredibles. There were rumors that several SFX shots of Reed were re-done at the last minute after that film came out because they realized they look lame.
6) Bad clips. I saw Michael Chiklis on Letterman the other night. He brought the worst clip imagineable. It was nothing more than Doom and the Thing punching each other. That was it.
So, I could go on about the bad, but here's some gems to look for.
1) The Human Torch. This looks really good and the young actor playing him (who's name escapes me even though he's on my TV Guide - a connection I still can't make) seems to be having a ball.
2) Jessica Alba. She looks great although not how I picture Sue.
3) Large buttered popcorn.
And that's all folks. We'll find out this week.
posted by Mkae at
5:48 AM
2 Comments:
Human Torch is played by Chris Evans. He's relatively new. Notable appearances include Not Another Teen Movie and Cellular. The latter of which I enjoyed very much.
By
Hayden, at 7:25 AM
It's clobberin' time!!!!
By
TheGirard, at 11:57 AM
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