Father's Day
Father's Day is my least favorite "holiday". Whereas millions of men across America will get barbecue grills, ties and subscriptions to Maxim Magazine, I just wish I could dodge it all together.
The reason is that I'm in a very weird place right now. I AM a father, but I also lost my father almost 14 years ago. My kids are too young to understand what Father's Day is so my wife fills the role with buying me something "from them". Father's Day is supposed to be a reminder that you love your dad. The reverse of that is it's also a reminder he isn't there. He'll never know my kids and they'll never know him beyond a few photographs that will never hold meaning for them. I never knew my grandfathers as they both died before I was born. My mom has tried to tell me about them, but it falls on deaf ears. It's just not real to me. My dad will not be real to them.
Someday, my daughter will go to my wife and tell her "we need to buy a Father's Day present for daddy". It's probably at this moment that the holiday will shift from an ache to a joy but it's not there yet.
The lesson? Skip the stupid gifts. Don't waste time with meaningless cards and dinners at Golden Corral. Look your dad in the eye and tell him you love and appreciate him. Tell him that the things he's taught you will be invaluable to raising your kids.
While you can.
The reason is that I'm in a very weird place right now. I AM a father, but I also lost my father almost 14 years ago. My kids are too young to understand what Father's Day is so my wife fills the role with buying me something "from them". Father's Day is supposed to be a reminder that you love your dad. The reverse of that is it's also a reminder he isn't there. He'll never know my kids and they'll never know him beyond a few photographs that will never hold meaning for them. I never knew my grandfathers as they both died before I was born. My mom has tried to tell me about them, but it falls on deaf ears. It's just not real to me. My dad will not be real to them.
Someday, my daughter will go to my wife and tell her "we need to buy a Father's Day present for daddy". It's probably at this moment that the holiday will shift from an ache to a joy but it's not there yet.
The lesson? Skip the stupid gifts. Don't waste time with meaningless cards and dinners at Golden Corral. Look your dad in the eye and tell him you love and appreciate him. Tell him that the things he's taught you will be invaluable to raising your kids.
While you can.
posted by Mkae at
10:01 AM
1 Comments:
My father died when I was 11, so I have few memories of him that remain. Since my mother passed away 3 years ago, I feel like screaming at everyone, "Call your parents every day!" because you can't realize what it's like when yours are gone. I feel like a three-legged stool that just lost two legs.
Children do make Father's Day better, even when they're out of town. They also make that any father/son things in a movie harder to watch: I had a father, I am a son, I am a father, I have a son. Yes, even Star Wars, I admit it.
This is another reason that I proposed Other Father's Day. It's for me too.
By
Shocho, at 4:34 AM
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