How Do Wagons Work??

I can never remember. If you give up an addiction, are you going "on the wagon"? Does that mean you've left your substance of choice (alcohol, cigarettes, illegal drugs, products hawked by Billy Mays on late night cable) behind and joining the circus of "clean" people? Or, are you going "off the wagon" because the wagon is full of bleary eyed, medical marijuana induced hippies that's plunging over a cliff into Hell?

Why you ask?

Because I'm staying at Shocho's place for a bit while I start the new job. I'm currently writing this in his basement (or "man cave" as he called it and I want one) while he and LWC play a certain online MMORPG that I've been clean from for about 9 months. I hear them talking about quests, noobs, drops, and such and my hands are shaking. I hear the sounds of battle and the grunts of something called a grim totem as they're slaying them left and right. I'm starting to sweat. My credit card is calling from my wallet, begging for release and telling me it has nothing to do with a f'ing wagon.

This might be a good time to begin chain smoking.