Are There Ewoks In Hell, George?
For those of you who are still under the misguided notion that the last 4 Star Wars movies intended to sell any sort of story, here's the latest proof that George Lucas is far less interested in telling a compelling story and more interested in selling toys.
This is the Holiday Exclusive Edtion of Darth Vader. Of course, Darth Vader is one really bad dude, but hey, it's Christmas, right?
As a kid, I had a Darth Vader toy. A couple as a matter of fact. Yes, he killed lots of people, but he was a scary villian in a fantasy movie. He mostly killed clueless Rebel Troopers, entire planets whose populace we conveniently never saw and cut Luke's hand off. Then, when unmasked, we learned he was really Uncle Fester.
Then, in episode III, the sixth movie (that still makes my head hurt) he became a child killer. It doesn't matter that they didn't technically show it, but he did. The last thing you see is a child looking to him for help and he turns his spooky red eyes on them.
And then slays them.
This affects you when you're a parent. It was an entirely unnecessary scene. I would have preferred to see any number of rubber suited aliens splayed open to the thought that he now murdered children in cold blood. Did that make him an even badder, bad guy. Sure. Was it necessary, not really. It was a desperate inclusion by a weak storyteller.
And now, we have the Holiday Edition of the galaxy's most popular child murderer. I'm sure this will be folled by Halloween versions, Easter versions, and of course Father's Day Vader. Nothing says "I love you Dad!" like having your hand cut off.
If you don't believe that Lucas makes movies just to sell toys, you're kidding yourself.
Sooner or later, Lucas will run out of ideas for action figures. On that day, I wouldn't doubt that we'll see the "Slain Youngling" action figure.
So let me just say "Thank You George" for another ridiculous raping of what used to be a character I enjoyed as a kid.
This is the Holiday Exclusive Edtion of Darth Vader. Of course, Darth Vader is one really bad dude, but hey, it's Christmas, right?
As a kid, I had a Darth Vader toy. A couple as a matter of fact. Yes, he killed lots of people, but he was a scary villian in a fantasy movie. He mostly killed clueless Rebel Troopers, entire planets whose populace we conveniently never saw and cut Luke's hand off. Then, when unmasked, we learned he was really Uncle Fester.
Then, in episode III, the sixth movie (that still makes my head hurt) he became a child killer. It doesn't matter that they didn't technically show it, but he did. The last thing you see is a child looking to him for help and he turns his spooky red eyes on them.
And then slays them.
This affects you when you're a parent. It was an entirely unnecessary scene. I would have preferred to see any number of rubber suited aliens splayed open to the thought that he now murdered children in cold blood. Did that make him an even badder, bad guy. Sure. Was it necessary, not really. It was a desperate inclusion by a weak storyteller.
And now, we have the Holiday Edition of the galaxy's most popular child murderer. I'm sure this will be folled by Halloween versions, Easter versions, and of course Father's Day Vader. Nothing says "I love you Dad!" like having your hand cut off.
If you don't believe that Lucas makes movies just to sell toys, you're kidding yourself.
Sooner or later, Lucas will run out of ideas for action figures. On that day, I wouldn't doubt that we'll see the "Slain Youngling" action figure.
So let me just say "Thank You George" for another ridiculous raping of what used to be a character I enjoyed as a kid.
posted by Mkae at
6:59 PM
2 Comments:
So on Christmas morning Santa Vader comes into your kiddy's bedroom and slices him in two with his lightsaber? I assume he knows who's been naughty or nice, but I'm not sure which ones he'd hack in two.
That should keep the little buggers on their toes in the festive season, shouldn't it?
By
Trundling Grunt, at 7:17 PM
I hadn't considered that angle, Mkae. Nice observation. Of course, they were Jedi-in-training. If you were Jewish (or even if not, but that's the parallel here with Vader) and could travel back in time to kill Hitler as a baby, would you or could you do it?
By
thisismarcus, at 3:28 PM
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