The following people are NOT God. Discuss.
The bloggers from my former company seem to be a little quiet lately. Here's a post that I have been cooking up a long disertation for, but don't think all the wordage is necessary. So, here is the short list of people who aren't God.
Kevin Smith - Not God. Makes cute movies. Believes he can make the best comic book movies ever. Whatever. Finish "The Evil That Men Do" miniseries before you tell me you're God's gift to comicdom.
Joss Whedon - Also not God. Buffy was ok, but c'mon. My respect for his work did increase when I saw his name in the credits of Toy Story.
Neil Gaiman - Again, not God although oddly enough, I discovered I own a book he wrote that wasn't a comic. He did a small guide to the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. That work of course was written by:
Douglas Adams - Not God, but he did briefly fill in.
Alex Ross - Still not God, but almost makes me believe God wears a red cape.
Tom (Xenu will save me) Cruise - Why is he on the news every night? Still??
Steve Jobs - Ok, so 3% of the computer buying public think he's God. Doesn't make it so. He is mightly translucent though.
Peter Jackson - Not God. Rather, he's one of the Illuvatar. (5 pts.)
Captain Hanson Crockett Gregory - Hmm.....ok, maybe. (5 pts.)
Howard Stern - Ok, let's assume for a moment that he was God. That would make the film "Private Parts" the Bible. By comparison, that would mean the Christian Bible was written by Dr. Seuss and illustrated with finger paints.
God - Nope, sorry. He's not God. At least not in schools or government buildings. Until there's a bombing or shooting rampage, and then no one has the guts to interrupt the televised prayer vigil with crazy-eyed rhetoric. (Sorry, that got political. I lose 5 pts.)
Bill Gates - Not God, he just writes His paycheck.
Lance Armstrong - Still not God, but if anyone has Him on the shoulder, Lance does.
Warchowski Brothers - Did you see the third Matrix film?? I mean did you SEE it???
The tiny little bug that crawled onto my foot while I was sitting on the porch tonight and made me, just for a moment, forget the crushing stress that's weighing on me - THAT was God.
Kevin Smith - Not God. Makes cute movies. Believes he can make the best comic book movies ever. Whatever. Finish "The Evil That Men Do" miniseries before you tell me you're God's gift to comicdom.
Joss Whedon - Also not God. Buffy was ok, but c'mon. My respect for his work did increase when I saw his name in the credits of Toy Story.
Neil Gaiman - Again, not God although oddly enough, I discovered I own a book he wrote that wasn't a comic. He did a small guide to the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. That work of course was written by:
Douglas Adams - Not God, but he did briefly fill in.
Alex Ross - Still not God, but almost makes me believe God wears a red cape.
Tom (Xenu will save me) Cruise - Why is he on the news every night? Still??
Steve Jobs - Ok, so 3% of the computer buying public think he's God. Doesn't make it so. He is mightly translucent though.
Peter Jackson - Not God. Rather, he's one of the Illuvatar. (5 pts.)
Captain Hanson Crockett Gregory - Hmm.....ok, maybe. (5 pts.)
Howard Stern - Ok, let's assume for a moment that he was God. That would make the film "Private Parts" the Bible. By comparison, that would mean the Christian Bible was written by Dr. Seuss and illustrated with finger paints.
God - Nope, sorry. He's not God. At least not in schools or government buildings. Until there's a bombing or shooting rampage, and then no one has the guts to interrupt the televised prayer vigil with crazy-eyed rhetoric. (Sorry, that got political. I lose 5 pts.)
Bill Gates - Not God, he just writes His paycheck.
Lance Armstrong - Still not God, but if anyone has Him on the shoulder, Lance does.
Warchowski Brothers - Did you see the third Matrix film?? I mean did you SEE it???
The tiny little bug that crawled onto my foot while I was sitting on the porch tonight and made me, just for a moment, forget the crushing stress that's weighing on me - THAT was God.
posted by Mkae at
7:44 PM
6 Comments:
Ross is not God because he paints from photographs and it looks like it. Stern is a Talentless Hack (see Jackson Pollock). Don't know who Gregory is. Gates and Jobs are famous for something they stole, and My God would never do that.
However, Kevin, Joss, and Neil ARE God and you are wrong. Sorry to say so on your blog. You'll probably delete this with your GODLIKE powers.
By
Shocho, at 4:52 AM
Girard = God
By
TheGirard, at 5:23 AM
There will be no God-like smiting on this blog.
By
Mkae, at 4:50 PM
If only he hadn't been an infidel commie, I'd nominate Tom Paine.
"War involves in its progress such a train of unforeseen and unsupposed circumstances that no human wisdom can calculate the end. It has but one thing certain, and that is to increase taxes"
By
The Paranoid Mod, at 6:57 PM
Gotta join with Shocho in defense of Joss. He may not be God, but Joss is Boss.
If Buffy was his "one good work" (as, say, Babylon 5 appears to be for J. Michael Stracsynski), you'd maybe have a case. But Angel was even better than Buffy, and Firefly was even better than both. And though I'm not a comic fan myself, you'll find many who say his current run of X-Men books are the best the series has ever been.
By
DrHeimlich, at 8:57 PM
Mmmm, gotta agree with Mkae on the Joss thing.
Buffy was pretty good, except for the parts with Angel.
As well, Angel was pretty good, except for the parts with Angel.
Firefly I could take or leave.
But Alien 4 alone nullifies most positives he could rack up.
Though I did like the X-men books.
By
Tom, at 9:46 PM
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