A Flank 2 Position

So last night was the second 2 hours of the 4-hour 24 season premiere. (Fox does love their numbers.)

There could be spoilers here so please stop reading now if you haven't seen it and have the fortitude to await the DVD box set which will cost you an arm and a leg at Best Buy next Christmas.

Jack Bauer (has anyone else noticed that no one says "Jack", they all say "Jack Bauer" over and over?) is trapped in an airport with a bunch of surly terrorists, several hostages and what appeared to be a taco stand. Sharp eyed viewers noticed that Terrorist #1 (he had the most lines) was also a Lamaze coach at some point as evident by the fact that he told Derrick to "control his breathing".

Terrorist: Just breathe. Slow down you're breathing. I'm going to kill you and I don't want you to hyperventilate.

I love fatherly terrorists. Clearly, Jack will realize this and discover a hidden terrorist base below a Babies R Us in Los Angeles. (Which will coincidentally be "10 minutes out" from wherever he happens to be.)

What I want though, is a show of hands to how many people knew EXACTLY what was going on when Jack Bauer (damn!) repeated twice in the first call and at least once in the second call that he was in a "Flank 2 position". Obviously, Terrorist #1, the Lamaze Coach didn't see Star Trek II (more numbers!) The Wrath of Khan. Had he spent just a little more time at the cinema he would realize that when communications are being monitored by hostile forces, no uncoded messages are to be transmitted. Of course, we now know that "a flank 2 position" means "blow up the front wall because the sponsors love explosions but come in the back door and shoot everyone in the ass". How Curtis didn't realize this is beyond me. Further, it took Curtis over an hour to get his team into the first position, and then 2 minutes to get them into the "flank 2 position".

So now we have to wait a whole week to find out:
- How everyone will react to Jack NOT being dead, except for Tony who is almost dead and Michelle who is. Oh yeah, and President Palmer who's probably still lying on the floor of his brother's deluxe apartment in the sky-high-high. (5 pts.)
- Will there be a catfight between Audrey and Jack's landlord?

Audrey: "You know Jack?"

Landlord: "Yes, he trimmed my bushes."

- Will Edgar finally reveal his ambitions to eat Chloe with Fava Beans and a nice Chianti?
- How long until Sean Astin uses the word "gosh"?
- When are we actually going to just see Jean Smart give us a boob shot? Stop teasing us Fox??
- When will the President get a fricking clue? And why is there a spy everywhere? His advisor is working for the bad guys now, because apparantly things worked out so well for Marwan and his boys last season it looked like a good idea.
- What ever happened to Beruse? I was really rooting for him and Chloe. Oh wait, Edgar ate him. Nevermind.

God damn this is going to be a fun season!