An Update from Home
Well, here's where we stand with mom now.
We've had a number of tests done from an MRI, Petscan, blood work, etc. We were supposed to get the diagnosis on Friday but there was a mixup with the appointment and we missed it. I'll have to try to get it on Monday over the phone as mom is now back east visiting my sister. From all appearances, it's Alzheimers Disease. The word has been used a few times and she's been oddly quiet about it. I tried to talk to her about it the other day and I'm sure she understands that anything is wrong. "Just getting old," she keeps saying.
We had a very small Christmas get together last night with some friends of Jen. Mom came over and gave the kids their presents (which they loved). We gave her a digital photo frame that I filled with pics of the kids, my dad (who's deceased 16 years now), some old family photos, etc. I used to think those things were the stupidest idea ever, but since mom now can barely operate a phone it was the perfect gift. She looked horrible throughout the evening and I put her to bed early as we had a very early flight to get her on this morning.
So she is out with Lori for the holidays. She hasn't seen her daughter in 2 and a half years so this will be good. I'm not sure what medication she'll be on, but as I see how she has withered in the last several months, I can't help but think the worst. She recognizes us fully and doesn't really have trouble with daily tasks but she gets confused easily, especially anything involving her finances. I think I'll have to take that over when she returns just to keep her from getting into trouble.
If you haven't had to go through this, it's pretty much exactly how you see it on television. Except, it's longer than an hour. It's every day, every hour, every minute. It's late night calls, panic and confusion, paranoia, and patience. Once we get the diagnosis, I'll probably have to call one of the associations. I have no one to talk to about this, literally.
I lost my dad in 1991 when he was only 54 years old. Mom is 74 and looks like she's 100. Last year, she looked like she was 73. I handled dad's death very badly. I got the call at 6am right after I had started my morning radio show. I did 4 hours of show without thinking about it because there was no one to come in and fill in for me. Then, I had to handle all of the arrangements. Then I sort of just shut down that part of my brain for a bit. Then 2 months later, I broke out in shingles on my back because I had bottled up the pressure so badly. That's what I feel like now. I'm handling everything and I have to be the one to make sure she gets the care she needs. Sooner or later, the pressure valve is going to blow.
Bleh. I really wish it wasn't Christmas. I was at the mall today with the kids and aside from their excitement, there's nothing appealing about any of this.
Rambling mode off.
We've had a number of tests done from an MRI, Petscan, blood work, etc. We were supposed to get the diagnosis on Friday but there was a mixup with the appointment and we missed it. I'll have to try to get it on Monday over the phone as mom is now back east visiting my sister. From all appearances, it's Alzheimers Disease. The word has been used a few times and she's been oddly quiet about it. I tried to talk to her about it the other day and I'm sure she understands that anything is wrong. "Just getting old," she keeps saying.
We had a very small Christmas get together last night with some friends of Jen. Mom came over and gave the kids their presents (which they loved). We gave her a digital photo frame that I filled with pics of the kids, my dad (who's deceased 16 years now), some old family photos, etc. I used to think those things were the stupidest idea ever, but since mom now can barely operate a phone it was the perfect gift. She looked horrible throughout the evening and I put her to bed early as we had a very early flight to get her on this morning.
So she is out with Lori for the holidays. She hasn't seen her daughter in 2 and a half years so this will be good. I'm not sure what medication she'll be on, but as I see how she has withered in the last several months, I can't help but think the worst. She recognizes us fully and doesn't really have trouble with daily tasks but she gets confused easily, especially anything involving her finances. I think I'll have to take that over when she returns just to keep her from getting into trouble.
If you haven't had to go through this, it's pretty much exactly how you see it on television. Except, it's longer than an hour. It's every day, every hour, every minute. It's late night calls, panic and confusion, paranoia, and patience. Once we get the diagnosis, I'll probably have to call one of the associations. I have no one to talk to about this, literally.
I lost my dad in 1991 when he was only 54 years old. Mom is 74 and looks like she's 100. Last year, she looked like she was 73. I handled dad's death very badly. I got the call at 6am right after I had started my morning radio show. I did 4 hours of show without thinking about it because there was no one to come in and fill in for me. Then, I had to handle all of the arrangements. Then I sort of just shut down that part of my brain for a bit. Then 2 months later, I broke out in shingles on my back because I had bottled up the pressure so badly. That's what I feel like now. I'm handling everything and I have to be the one to make sure she gets the care she needs. Sooner or later, the pressure valve is going to blow.
Bleh. I really wish it wasn't Christmas. I was at the mall today with the kids and aside from their excitement, there's nothing appealing about any of this.
Rambling mode off.
posted by Mkae at
8:10 PM
5 Comments:
Before my Mom passed, she used to have some moments of dementia. That's nowhere near what your mom is going through, of course.
Spend time with your kids, that sounds like a good way to relax. Knowing about something helps you manage it, too.
Best wishes in these difficult times.
By
Shocho, at 6:54 AM
Aw, sweetie, I wish I had the right answer for you. I think Shocho is right about focusing on your kids through these holidays. They only see the wonder of Christmas. They don't perceive this can be a time of stress and seeing it through their eyes can only help.
I hope the doctors at least can give you a treatment plan for your mom, so you feel like you have more control.
It probably wouldn't hurt to find someone to talk to about this. No mere mortal can handle this sort of stress without help.
Just sayin'
(hug)
By
Beanie, at 9:30 AM
Two more thoughts:
1) Have you considered taking up kick boxing? It's a great stress reliever. Especially if you can sing Dr. Dememto songs in your mind while you're booting the workout dummy in the head.
2) I just totally bought Steve's grandmother a photo frame. See? You did something good today.
By
Beanie, at 9:41 AM
Don't really know where to begin or what to say. I find lots of joy in the holidays through The Little One and remembering what it was like for me to be a child. There is plenty of things to get excited about this time of year, there really is.
Things sound tough, I've seen two sets of friends go through the same thing you are. I don't really have any advice other than to let you know if you need anything just let me know.
By
TMac, at 5:05 AM
Tough times indeed. Hang in there though, you'll push thru.
By
Dave(id), at 5:22 PM
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