Don't trust the carnie-folk.
Two Saturdays ago, I put my faith in the carnie-folk, and came up wanting.
I took my beautiful daughter to a ride fair at Mt. Trashmore and rode the three story super-slide. Every safety measure on this deathtrap was in place like the rickety railing, worn wool pad and hi-tech breaking system at the bottom of the slide. This consisted of a thin, green fabric mat stretched over the concrete. Its purpose was not so much to cushion the impact, but to make you forget that you were going to land on solid concrete.
After coming down on my tailbone trying to keep my daughter from getting hurt, I thought I had walked it off. Not so, as the pain grew steadily worse. On Tuesday, I couldn't even get out of bed. Somewhere, a carnie-folk laughed.
I got my first non-dental xrays in my life taken on Wednesday. A very hot latino lab tech asked me quite tenderly what happened before contorting me into horribly painful positions. "Shouldn't trust carnies," she told me.
I also got my first prescription strength painkiller. The mere mention of the word Viccoden drew "oohs", "aahhhs" and "that's good" from friends and family. Didn't do jack for my back though.
So the xrays come back and show nothing broken or fractured, but arthritis?
WHAT??
That's something that old people get. I'm still exactly one month from 40.
So here I am with a bad back, taking pain killers, and an arthritic back. And 40 is approaching fast.
I blame it on the frickin' carnies.
I took my beautiful daughter to a ride fair at Mt. Trashmore and rode the three story super-slide. Every safety measure on this deathtrap was in place like the rickety railing, worn wool pad and hi-tech breaking system at the bottom of the slide. This consisted of a thin, green fabric mat stretched over the concrete. Its purpose was not so much to cushion the impact, but to make you forget that you were going to land on solid concrete.
After coming down on my tailbone trying to keep my daughter from getting hurt, I thought I had walked it off. Not so, as the pain grew steadily worse. On Tuesday, I couldn't even get out of bed. Somewhere, a carnie-folk laughed.
I got my first non-dental xrays in my life taken on Wednesday. A very hot latino lab tech asked me quite tenderly what happened before contorting me into horribly painful positions. "Shouldn't trust carnies," she told me.
I also got my first prescription strength painkiller. The mere mention of the word Viccoden drew "oohs", "aahhhs" and "that's good" from friends and family. Didn't do jack for my back though.
So the xrays come back and show nothing broken or fractured, but arthritis?
WHAT??
That's something that old people get. I'm still exactly one month from 40.
So here I am with a bad back, taking pain killers, and an arthritic back. And 40 is approaching fast.
I blame it on the frickin' carnies.
posted by Mkae at
6:59 AM
3 Comments:
Forty is nothing. Remember, the alternative is death. Always look on the bright side.
By
Shocho, at 9:20 AM
Take the Vicodin into your office, share it with everybody that you think could use a Pain killer.
I think that will make you feel better. ;)
By
The Information Officer, at 10:26 AM
First non-dental x-rays? Man, you must have led a charmed life. I had chest x-rays three times in one winter for suspected pneumonia. They never did find proof of pneumonia, but I did have two broken ribs from coughing spasms. There have been other x-rays over the years but I can't remember specifics these days.
I've never had Vicodin. My doctor always prescribed plain ol' codeine. In my experience it doesn't really kill the pain; it just puts me to sleep so I don't care.
By
Major Rakal, at 11:02 AM
Post a Comment
<< Home